Dani's Shorts 3 Page 5
You guys are f**king awesome. Lol.
Dani J Caile
"No, not now...why now?" He tried to run but they held him down, their hands like iron clamps. Despondant, he surrendered and slumped back into his seat. "Now, buddy..." The second slammed a pad on the table in front of him. "Get writing. We've been waiting long enough for that damn relay." The first handed him the pencil and he had no choice, no choice whatsoever. The Rotation had failed.
Mathew W. Weaver
Sweat started to drip down his face. Silently, he applauded himself for not taking the razor any closer; he knew that they smelled fear, and the beard masked that stench.
Dani J Caile
He dropped the pencil and pushed his feet, unseen below the laminated hardboard table, against the edge of the seat's supports. The second turned the pad to himself. "Hey, buddy. That ain't gonna make it. " At that moment, the door of the diner opened as a group of laughing business types entered, ready to order their usual apple pie and crumble.
Mathew W. Weaver
He kicked, and the seat collapsed. One of them pitched backwards with a surprised yelp, and before the other could react, he threw the mug along with rest of the chocolate milk at his face.
Then he was up and gone, pushing past the shocked customers and the wide eyed waitress.
The piece of paper, fluttering like a leaf in the wind, finally landed on the floor, face up to show to the world in general the words:
"Not today, pal."
Genre Mash Up Test 1
(4 elements, 6 genres in one story, 150 words per genre – elements - hammerhead shark, pinball machine, hot dog stand)
Genre 1 - Detective/Mystery
Over by the hotdog stand I had a clear view of the suspect in the arcade center playing on a beaten up old pinball machine which had seen better days. I'd followed him all the way from the harbour, his grey, shiny appearence and eyes which were set far apart gave him away as the one to watch. Although he was no Great White, this hammerhead shark matched the witness's description. This was the shark who had terrorised the neighbourhood one night before. It was time to make my move. Throwing the luke warm coffee and foul-tasting hotdog in the trash, I stepped over to the hammerhead. Unfortunately, what I hadn't foreseen was its ability to observe its surroundings with an almost 360 degree periphery. It spotted me as soon as I began to move and flip-flopped deeper into the arcade center, past the shooting games and racing car simulators.
Genre 2 - Sci-fi
Running into the arcade and through the dimly lit room, I was hit into a pusher game by some unseen force, sending coins cascading out onto the carpet.
"Stop! You!"
The hammerhead shark flipped around at the back searching for something. It had a plastic rifle from the nearest shooting game in its flipper and aimed it in my direction. What was it thinking? Suddenly, a beam of flashing blue light shot from its toy nuzzle. This was no ordinary arcade popgun. The beam missed my head by inches and melted the pinball machine the fiend was playing on only a moment ago. I ducked for cover and watched the shark sit itself comfortably into a spaceship simulator. A few moments later and the spaceship wrenched at its metal fastenings, the toy coming alive. It broke free, flying through the arcade center but instantly crashing into the hotdog stand outside.
Genre 3 - Gothic
A howling wind blew through the street as the hammerhead shark crawled out of the wreckage, stepping over mustard, ketchup and hotdog buns now scattered across the destroyed hotdog stand.
"You cannot stop the prophecy!" The hammerhead pulled the trigger on his plastic popgun and an intermittent blue flash spluttered forwards. Rolling for cover, I grabbed the backbox of the melted pinball machine and used it as a shield, only to hear an ominous sound come from behind me. Turning, I saw a strange arcade machine come to life, a magic wish machine, 'Zoltar Speaks'.
"I wish for the prophecy to come true!" shouted the hammerhead from the street. The machine whirred and plunked its gears. Lightning struck outside and thunder followed as rain fell relentlessly. A darkness filled the arcade center. I looked out but the hammerhead was nowhere to be seen.
"Your wish has come true!" spoke 'Zoltar'.
Genre 4 - Action Adventure
The rain petered out as I ran into the street with the pinball machine's backbox as a shield. The place was empty save for the demolished hotdog stand and a dozen or so weiners.
"It has begun!"
The hammerhead shark was back, but now he wasn't alone. It stood there with an army of six foot red lobsters, snapping their claws and flailing their antennae. I saw they thirsted for my blood.
"The prophecy has begun! We will rule the world! But first...kill him!"
The lobsters moved forward on their tailfans and soon there was nowhere to hide. The first clipped my ear and drew blood. With my shield in hand, I began to block, punch and kick my way through a five course meal. After many hard fought moments, I came out victorious, though bloody and beaten. I lifted my eyes to see the plastic popgun at point-blank range.
Genre 5 - Romance
"No...it can't be! It's...it's...you!"
The hammerhead shark stood there aghast, gazing deep into my swollen eyes.
"You! You are the one! I saw you on that faithful morning at the salmon feeding pools! You moved with such grace, spread the bait with such skill and finesse, it was all I could do but fall for your sweetness, your warmth!" Yes, I remembered that day out at the fish farm. The hammerhead came closer, squishing some loose weiners from the destroyed hotdog stand beneath its tail and lifted me up from the ground with such strength, oh, such strength.
"When I first looked up from the pinball machine, I thought for a moment that...but now...now..." I looked into its dark mesmorising eyes, with nictitating membranes sweeping across them, and I saw the hammerhead for what it truly was, a magnificient creature, the likes I'd never met before, or ever will again.
Genre 6 - Ghost story
Our embrace was cut short by a sudden cracking noise in the street. What was that? I looked around but the sound only grew stronger and louder. I wanted to hold the hammerhead shark closer to me, for protection, reassurance as my chest tightened and sweat flowed down my back. The sound grew to immense proportions and came from all around us.
"What the...?" The hammerhead looked over to the destroyed hotdog stand, but I couldn't, I couldn't. My stomach churned as I closed my eyes and felt an ominous shake on the ground.
"Oh, no! No, not that!"
I forced myself to turn to whatever held the hammerhead's attention, and the horror was too much to bear. There, now standing with a foot on my backbox shield from the melted pinball machine was a ghost-like 10 foot weiner which towered above us. I gave out a whimper.
"The prophecy!"
Weekend Quickie 35 - Little Red Shiny Jordan
(image - "Don't go in the woods" sign in the woods, element - an errand for your mother, emotion - suspicion)
Little Red Shiny Jordan listened to his darling mother.
"Now, run along into the forbidden Iron Writer woods and take your Aunty Brian his weekly beer and jello."
"Arr, Mom! Do I have to?"
His mother rubbed his shiny little head.
"And don't forget to start that nice little relay idea of yours in his website's forum when you get there…What's wrong? You look suspicious, my little man?"
"Someone's been sitting in my chair…"
"Wrong tale, son, wrong tale. Now get going, he's waiting. And what have I told you about wearing sunglasses in the house?"
Little Red Shiny Jordan skipped his way through the woods and past the "Don't go in the woods" sign put there to stop the fly-by-nighters' voters from entering.
Suddenly, from behind a facebook comment, out popped Mamie Fox and Amanda Wolf.
"Hello there. What's a fine-looking little chicken leg like you doing in the woods?"
"I'm running an errand for my Mom. Ooo, Mamie F
ox, what big hair you have."
"All the better to mess your mind up with."
"And Amanda Wolf, what strange big mesmorising eyes you have."
"All the better to twist your little heart up. Come, Mamie Fox, supper has arrived..."
65 - Oh, Elva!
(Anthony E Pratt, a Room, a Weapon, a Character)
Another hard working day in their little sweet and tobacconist shop ended with Elva turning the sign on the door. It was enough to make her sick. In fact….she wiped the counter down, ready for the next day. She coughed, a little at first but then full-blown belters as her confidence grew, holding a handkerchief over her mouth.
"What’s wrong, dear?"
"Nothing (cough), nothing at all."
"Are you alright, Elva, dear? Are you coming down with something?" Her husband Anthony, Anthony Pratt, THE Anthony Pratt who created the infamous board game ’Cluedo’, busied himself with the humbugs and pineapple chunks.
"Must be (cough), must be something in the air. I’m, I’m alright, really." She feigned weakness and sat down on the nearest chair. Anthony came over and held her hand.
"Are you sure, you’re alright?"
"Yes, yes, of course. It’s nothing, just a little tired, that’s all, maybe I overdid it today…Anthony?"
"Yes, dear?"
"Can’t we…can’t we move? Or do…something else?" She fluttered her eyebrows and gave a smile but this was too much for Anthony, who gave her a cold hard stare.
"Not that again."
"What, dear? What?"
"This!" He moved away and went back to packing away the sweet jars onto the shelves. "All this! The payoff, always the payoff!"
"Oh no, darling, no, it isn’t. I’m ill, really I am. See?" She coughed a few more times. "But, darling, don’t you think you were a little preemptive, taking their first offer?"
"What? Oh, Elva! How many times have a told you? It’s just a game! They offered £5000! Wasn’t that enough? I’m lucky I got that!" Anthony now stormed around the store, shutting drawers and closing cupboards.
"But Anthony, you can’t tell what will happen in the future. Cluedo might catch on, and if that happens, well, we could’ve been millionaires, multi-millionaires at that!"
"But it hasn’t ’caught on’, has it?"
"You never know, those Waddingtons might make spinoffs, perhaps go into other areas, such as books or movies."
"Oh, talk sense! It’s only a game, a damn board game!"
"No need to curse, Anthony."
"Sorry."
She watched as he moved over to the Cluedo board he always had open on display behind and above the counter for all their customers to see. Every morning he’d place an unknown weapon, room and character into the envelope and would ask everyone who came in that day to guess the contents. He would even give a 10% discount to anyone who’d guess correctly. Elva watched Anthony place the cards on the counter, Professor Plum, in the kitchen, with the lead piping.
"Maybe we should take a break, dear. Close the shop for a week, go somewhere special."
"How about London?"
"London? Whatever for?"
"That’s where Waddingtons is based, isn’t it?"
"Oh, Elva!"
"You can go into the office and ask for more money."
"Elva!"
An evil thought appeared in her head.
"Better yet, I can go in."
"Elva, stop it, please!"
"Me, in the office, with a letter opener…"
Weekend Quickie 36 - Second base
(image - UFO over a beach with girl and boy running, element - dandelion bracelet, emotion - incredulity)
We sat there in the grassy dunes, making daisy chains and dandelion bracelets as the sun beat down on our smiling faces and boney teenage legs.
"Do you love me, Tom?"
"Of course I do, Janice!"
It was the greatest summer break I'd ever had. No more would I hide in the back of the classroom and adore her from afar. She was mine and I was hers.
"Look, all done."
I didn't mind messing around on the beach, it was enough that I could spend all my waking hours with her. By luck, our parents had hired neighbouring beach huts and our romance had started from the very first morning.
"That looks very..." A dark cloud came over but elsewhere was still burning sunshine. I looked up. "No! It can't be!"
"Tom? What is it? A little rain cloud? I do so love little rain..." She looked up and we were both in a state of incredulity. "It's..it's not a....is it, Tom?"
With its spinning chassis and flashing lights, it hovered above us. A beam shot from it's belly and Janice disappeared, along with the UFO.
"Ah, hell! I can't believe it! I didn't even get to second base!"
66 (Grudge 6) - The Universe doesn't Care what You are
(one of the main characters has a paper bag on their head, Rav Shaul, keywords from 8 processes of beer making in sequence, format of a radio script)
"THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE" / CAILE
1 SFX TWO PAIRS OF FOOTSTEPS WALK TOWARDS
2 EACH OTHER, SOUND OF A PAPER BAG
3 RUSTLING AND A COUGH FROM WITHIN. ONE
4 PAIR OF FOOTSTEPS STOPS.
5 TED: Shalom.
6 SFX VOICE OF RAV COMES FROM UNDER
7 A PAPER BAG.
8 RAV: Shalom.
9 TED: Err, Hi. My name's Ted. Who are you?
10 SFX SECOND PAIR OF FOOTSTEPS STOPS.
11 RAV: Rav. Rav Shaul.
12 TED: Who?
13 RAV: Rav Shaul, you know?
14 TED: Shaul? Oh, Rav Shaul! You're a Gentile!
15 RAV: Yes…what? No, that's a misunderstanding, I'm a Natsari Jew!
16 TED: Yeah, right, Rav. Pull the other one. Err…but Rav? Why have
17 you got a paper bag on your head?
18 SFX SOUND OF SIGH FROM INSIDE PAPER BAG.
19 RAV: I thought that would be obvious.
20 TED: Good point, seeing as you're a Gentile. Any stones around here?
21 RAV: I'm not a Gentile! I'm a Natsari Jew!
22 TED: Whatever. So, you're still reading the Torah then, eh?
23 RAV: Of course! I'm a Rabbi! Look, see? Never leave home
24 without one.
25 SFX SOUND OF LARGE PARCHMENTS BEING
26 OPENED, THEN BEING CLOSED.
27 TED: Oh, right. But, really, I heard you were…a Christian.
28 SFX: LARGE SOUND OF THUNDER
29 RAV: Christian?
30 SFX: LARGE SOUND OF THUNDER
31 TED: Yeah, Christian.
32 SFX: LARGE SOUND OF THUNDER
33 RAV: No, not me. Those Chri…
34 SFX: BEGINNING OF THUNDER
35 RAV: Those Gentiles…they get -soaked in water-. I don't.
36 TED: Yeah, crazy, right? You'd have to be -slightly cracked-
37 to do that.
38 RAV: And they're -steeping- in love and harmony and all that
39 'Hallelujah' jazz...whatever that is...I've absolutely no idea…
40 TED: Oh, Christ, yeah.
41 R
AV: Mind your language.
42 TED: Sorry.
43 RAV: Yes, well, everything that those Chri…Gentiles were before is
44 -rinsed out-, -extracted-. They are -separated- from our grand
45 teachings by that small group of 'disciples'. Pah!
46 TED: Yeah, so I heard.
47 RAV: And then they are -boiled- up, cleansed and -sterilized- with
48 all that talk about 'loving their God'. That's…just not me.
49 TED: That guy they follow…who is he again?
50 RAV: Jesus.
51 TED: What? What happened? What did I do now?
52 RAV: No, Jesus, Jesus Christ. That's the guy's name. Jesus Christ.
53 TED: Oh, right, right. Yeah, 'course it is.
54 RAV: Then they sit and -ferment-, talking about the 'Old Testament'.
55 Not me, no, sir.
56 TED: What is that all about, eh? 'Old Testament'?
57 RAV: Beats me. But they are so -settled-, so sure of themselves.
58 It is quite an achievement to do this in our time of unrest.
59 They are -stabilized- with their 'Scriptures', with no
60 -cloudiness- of mind.
61 TED: Those Chri…Gentiles, they're a bunch of special -cases-,
62 if you ask me.
63 RAV: Yes, well, it was nice meeting you...err?
64 TED: Ted.
65 RAV: Yes, Ted. But I have to -wrap it up- here, Ted, I've got a
66 circumcision at 4.
67 TED: Oh, right, well, sorry to hold you up. Have a good one!
68 RAV: …yes, quite.
69 SFX RAV'S SET OF FOOTPRINTS MOVES OFF.
70 TED: Okay, well, Shalom!